Hold My Hand Because I Can't Hold Yours

For those parents who have been blessed with children with disabilities, I'm sure you can understand what I'm about to share. For others, these thoughts may seem foreign or even wrong. However, the feelings and thoughts are real and by sharing them I gain perspective as you will see as you read.
Sometimes I find the connection hard to make. I look in her eyes and wonder if she even realizes I'm her mother. I've done enough research to understand the delays in development she will face. I won't even hear the words "mamma" or "dadda" until her speech development begins to work itself out. Some of these children are never able to speak clearly. For so many people, hearing the words "I love you" solidify relationships. She doesn't even realize. I try to hold her hand. She can't hold mine. Her muscle tone is so weak, she can't grasp my fingers. For some, physical touch solidifies a relationship. She doesn't even realize. I want so bad to feel a connection, she doesn't even realize how helpless she is. And for the parents of severely handicapped children, how do you find the connection when they aren't able to connect? And then the Lord gently reminds me. We are all handicapped. Spiritually handicapped. The condition?...Sin! Sin cripples all of us. We suffer varying degrees of difficulties with sin that so easily entangles us. And we don't even realize. God wants so much to hear us say "Abba". But we dont, and we don't even realize. God wants so much to hold our hands. We can't. Our sins make us so weak, we can't grasp our fingers around his. We don't even realize. God so longs to solidify a relationship with us. He wants to feel so close and connected. And yet, we don't even realize. Thank you for showing me through my precious child how you long to be close to each of us.